Working With The Three Levels Of Your Self-Esteem

Working With The Three Levels Of Your Self-Esteem

The term “self-esteem” comes up almost daily in regards to yours or someone else’s approach to life and relationships. It is one of the key factors if you keep on getting the same old shit that does not give you peace, happiness or joy or is the foundation that you build your life’s desires and dreams on. It’s easy to throw out there in conversation about someone’s low self esteem when you are making a judgement call on yourself or someone else. But self-esteem is not just one neat little package that is either high or low, it has many levels to it and we carry a piece of all of them. To learn how to master those levels can make all the difference between enjoying your life or staying in a constant state of disappointment and misery.

Knowing which type of self-esteem is predominate in you and comes to the surface most often can give you an overall picture of whether you will succeed in your relationships, career and life in general.

Inflated Self-Esteem

This is when someone thinks they are better than others and have no doubts about underestimating or taking every opportunity to demean everyone else. This is the negative version of self-esteem, as it holds you back from establishing close and healthy relationships. Competitiveness is always present and they always want to come out on top and feel like the winner, regardless of what it costs them to get there. For these people, happiness is found in achieving success but the reality is they never feel happy even when successful. People with inflated self-esteem do not have the ability to listen to others and to honestly critique themselves. They are not capable of correcting their own short comings, so constantly blaming others. Furthermore, they tend to undervalue others, adopting hostile behaviors when challenged.

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High Self-Esteem

The goal that we are all striving for. When we have it and when we don’t have it, we know it. When you have high self-esteem, you accept and value who you are…. flaws and all. It is the positive self-esteem that helps you feel satisfied with your life. Does this mean that you are happy go lucky about every set-back or disappointment, hell no! But what it does give you is the confidence and courage to face all problems that show up and make them easier to deal with. Believing in yourself and trusting in who you are is what characterizes people who possess this type of self-esteem. They do not feel arrogant, nor do they feel better than anyone else. The just have the security necessary to avoid letting negative circumstances and events throw them off balance.

Low Self-Esteem

This carries an aggressive, passive, or negative attitude to accept other points of view or being unable to have an opinion or action that is honest and true. People who have low self-esteem are the opposite of those with high self-esteem. They do not value themselves nor do they trust in the possibility they will come out on top of any situation. Fear of failure is something that torments them and holds them back from taking the risk of change for the better. They are the model of unhappy people. They tend to talk badly about others, carrying the energy of, ‘I feel so low that instead of picking myself up, I have to cut others down.’ They fall into the category of a passive-aggressive personality, having moments of euphoria when everything is going right for them, but when things start to go bad, their self-esteem drops very quickly. They are easily influenced and if they do give an opinion, are usually unwilling to defend it. Having low self-esteem does make you an unstable person, rather it is more about indecision. They have very little trust in themselves, undervalue themselves and they have such a great fear of messing up that they constantly look outside of themselves for the answers.