Avoiding The Holiday Blues

Avoiding The Holiday Blues

The Christmas and New Year holiday season has become about festive get-togethers with family, friends and loved ones. Of course, the presents are nice too! There are many reasons one might fall into that rabbit hole of holiday blues: in a new place without family or friends, newly single, illness, money stress, a fresh loss of a loved one or a memory of losing one during this time of year in the past and of course, too high expectations of what the holidays should be, bring you or make you feel. Isolated and alone, is not one of those feelings you want to experience. And it is very possible to have those lonely feelings, even if you are surrounded by family or invited to several parties. Don’t buy into the hype of all those Christmassy Hallmark commercials of how the holiday is suppose to look. Reality is usually far from that.

We fall into two categories of holiday blues. The attempt to be everywhere and everything to everyone will stress us out and make it impossible for us to enjoy the holiday. The second is the “bah humbug” attitude about the holidays. Preferring to ignore it, feeling isolated and alone because of past holiday disappointments and because you can.

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Here are some hints on how to make your holiday season less stressful, more joyful and most important, realistic.

1. Don’t worry about how things should be. There is a lot of cultural pressure during the holidays. We tend to compare ourselves with the idealized notions of perfect families and perfect holidays.
2. Be realistic. You can’t please everyone the rest of the year, so why try during the holidays? Saying no, to going to gatherings or to a present on someone’s wish list that you simply cannot afford can be one of the most challenging parts of the season. Big hint, make yourself a priority regardless, for your own mental and physical well-being.
3. Don’t try to be a superhero or magic genie, granting everyone’s wishes. Do what you can do within your budget. It is a perfect opportunity to learn to be creative: bake cookies, put bling on something plain for the little girls, hit the Dollar Store!!!!
4. Everyone has complex family dynamics. Despite the season’s near-universal message of unity and peace, it’s not a realistic outlook. If you must spend time with people you have conflicts with, try to limit your exposure.
5. Volunteer for something to remind you that there is always someone out there struggling with the simple necessities that we take for granted everyday. Simply knowing you are making a small dent in the lives of people who are not as fortunate is a great strategy if you feel lonely or isolated.
6. Keep yourself on the giving list. Technically, it is the season of giving to others but don’t forget yourself. My friends and I would always do a pre-Christmas girl shopping day, have lunch and buy something wonderful for ourselves first and then do Christmas shopping.
7. Make sure you don’t use the holidays as an excuse for a pity party. Give yourself some time away from the hype, even if it’s just for half an hour a day. Depression during the holidays is sneaky and before you know it, you can slip down that rabbit hole on a gradual decline.
8. Set realistic expectations for yourself and how you want your holiday to feel and look like.
9. Don’t isolate yourself. If lonely, call friends and family for an outing.
10. Don’t hesitate to try something new. Make a new holiday tradition.
11. Track your holiday spending, for overspending can cause depression when the bills arrive.
12. Keep your consumption of alcohol in check, for excessive drinking increases feelings of depression.
    Spend time with loving, supportive people and try to make new friends. Stay away from people with a history of making you feel bad about yourself.
13. Get plenty of rest and sleep. One study found that when limited to 4 hours of sleep, people felt more stressed, angry, sad and exhausted.
14. Despite a busy holiday schedule, get your exercise. Studies show that moderate exercise can help alleviate mild to moderate depression because it causes the release of endorphins, which elevate mood and self-esteem, decrease stress, and increase energy levels.